Since We Met
by Merx
Summary: They can't be together if their pasts are following them. Chapter 5: Back To The Past. Part 1, added
1. Chapter 1: The Argument

A/N: This is my second fanfic, I hope y'all like it. This chapter is not too longer, but I promise the next one will be. Please R&R!

Disclaimer: I don't own Lost and any of the characters. I just own this story.

Summary: Set after "... And Found".

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**Since We Met**

**Chapter 1: The Argument**

It was late at night, everybody were asleep for a couple of hours now, except Kate. She couldn't sleep because she had something in her pocket that she wanted to read although she shouldn't read it. She exited her tent and made her way to her favorite place on the beach. She grabbed a note from her pants' pocket and sat down on the sand, with her knees up to her chest and her arms resting on her knees with the note on her hands. Then she began to read it...

_Hey mum. I'm sorry, as I told you by the phone I couldn't find dad alive. And with the crash his body is lost too, but I hope to find him someday. Don't worry about me, I'm fine, I know how to take care of myself and the others, this was the only thing that dad taught me. Oh and, do you remember what you said to me after my divorce with Sarah? Well... I think it's happening, but I don't want it to happen here on the island even though sometimes it's really hard to control myself... but I don't want to be hurt again. I don't have more space to write so... HOPE to see you soon. Love, Jack._

She began to read it once again. She didn't know about his father's body, and neither about he been marriage, and the divorce... Now she knew more things about the mysterious Jack Shephard. But she didn't know what he didn't want to happen on the island, what did his mum say to him? This was the reason why she was reading Jack's message once and again.

"Hey" She almost jumped when she heard his voice. He was walking towards her from behind her.

"Hey, Jack... y-you scared me." She said while keeping the message in her pants' pocket.

"I'm sorry, it wasn't my intention" He said with his sexy smile on his face, while he was taking a place by her side. "Why are you awake so late?"

"I just... I couldn't sleep. What about you?" She said with a little smile on her face too.

"Same, so... what were you reading?" He asked with an arched eyebrow, looking at her.

"It was nothing... just something I found on the sand" She lied.

"Really? Let me see it" He motioned.

"No! I-It is personal, ok?" She brought her hand to her pocket to make sure it was still there. But it wasn't. Suddenly it begun to rain.

Jack saw the paper lying on the sand and caught it quickly. Then he began to run, playing, acting like a child with her. But to her it wasn't funny, if he knew what it was, he was going to be really angry with her. So she begun to run after him.

"No! Jack! Give it back to me! Really, I'm not joking, give it back to me!" But she was late because he was already reading it.

He couldn't believe what he was reading, it was his message, his personal message for the bottle and Kate had read it. He was really angry.

"You have read my personal message!" He said with the message in his hand motioning angrily at her. "And on top of that you have lied to me... AGAIN!" He remembered the time she lied about the toy plane.

"And you have caught it without my permission!" She cried. Hopefully they were away from the tents because if not, they would have awake everybody.

"I can't believe what you're saying! What if I read your message Kate, huh? Maybe then I'll get some answers about your past!"

"You know what? Do whatever you want Jack. I don't mind! If my past is so important for you then you have lied to me too, because you said it didn't matter here on the island. But I guess..." She said with tears in her eyes, but with the rain maybe he didn't notice it. "...I guess, you still think about me as a criminal" And with that she turned and went back to her tent.

She was shaking but not because of the rain. She was nervous and afraid of what would happen since now. It wasn't just the fact that she had read his message, they had argued for a lot of things, things they had been keeping inside until they finally exploded. She felt bad now, because he was right, she shouldn't had read his message. She wanted to know more about him, but she was afraid to tell him things about her.

Jack was still there, in shock. Thinking about what had just happened, feeling the gouts of water crashing against his body. Had he been so hard with her? He didn't know, but he wouldn't have said some things he said to her. Of course she was wrong with her last words, he didn't think about her as a criminal, but she didn't know that. He was about to go after her, but he though it wasn't the time, maybe tomorrow...

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I hope you have enjoyed it. I didn't get the result that I wanted, but I hope to get better at writting. I promise it will be more interesting ;)  



	2. Chapter 2: The Apology

** Since We Met **

**Chapter 2: The Apology**

The next morning Jack was awake when everybody were still asleep. He had to go to the hatch to his six hours' shift. He got dressed and took his way to the hatch. 'Wow six hours with Locke... it is going to be really boring down there' he thought, because Locke were his mate on this shift. He also thought about Kate... he was going to be six hours in the hatch probably thinking about their argument... Will they forgive each other easily like last time? Would he give her some guava seeds and they'll forget it all? Well, that didn't matter in that moment because he was going to be six hours without seeing her.

He finally arrived to the hatch's front door and opened it. Locke and Hurley were inside. Locke was with a crossword in front of the computer and Hurley was seated on a chair looking at Locke with an oddly look. When he heard Jack enter he jumped and walked quickly right to him.

"Dude, thank god you're here. I can't stay here anymore" He closed his distance between him and Jack and whispered him. "Dude, he didn't want to play ping-pong, can you believe it? This was the hell bored!".

"I thought he was on my shift" Jack said confused.

"Oh yeah but Kate changed her shift with him so..." Hurley said.

"Then who is going to be with me on my shift?" Jack asked. And by that moment the door opened.

"Hey" Kate said with a smile on her face that faded away when she saw Jack. 'Dammit' she thought.Was she really that luckless? When she changed her shift she didn't know that it was Jack's shift. Last night she didn't feel good for a shift in the hatch, but if she had knew that it was worst to change it she wouldn't have changed it. It was going to be an odd morning.

Jack changed his expression too.

"Hey Kate, and bye. Now that you're here I'm finally free! I'm going to play golf or something, I don't know but I just have to get out of here" Hurley said with a crazy expression on his face and then he left.

"Yep I have to go too. I'm going to hunt and maybe we'll have fresh meat today" Locke said and he left too.

They stood there for about a minute in silent looking at each other like they wanted to say something but any of them didn't want to take the first step. Then the countdown started to sound and Kate broke their eye contact immediately. Even though she took some seconds to react.

"I'll do it" She said approaching to the computer.

Jack nodded and then turned and started walking through a doorway without saying a word. Kate introduced the numbers and followed him with her look wandering where he was going.

Jack opened a closet and caught a towel, then he made his way to the shower. He took a refreshing shower, he put the towel around his waist and was about to catch a razor blade when he slid and he hit his forehead with the sink.

Kate was looking the crossword that Locke filled before when she heard a strong beat followed by an "Ouch!". She got up quickly and followed the way where the sound came. She opened the bathroom's door and found Jack grabbing the sink trying to get up.

"Hey I- I heard a beat and I came. Are you ok?" She asked approaching towards him and grabbing him by his back trying to help him get up.

"Yeah I'm fine, I just slid and..." He said already up turning to face her.

"No you're not fine, you're bleeding Jack" She cut him. "Maybe you need stitches". Jack turned to face the mirror.

"No I don't think so. It's not a deep wound. I fortunately grabbed the sink before I hit my head" He said examining the wound cautiously.

"Ok then let me clean it and disinfect it" She added.

"Kate, really I can do it myself"

" I think I can do it better than you through a mirror you know" She said motioning him to sit on a stool that was near them.

He gave her an 'Ok you win' look and he sat on the stool. Kate exited to search a first-aid kit, when she found it she opened it and caught the disinfectant and a gauze, she also caught a small towel and then she came back to the bathroom where Jack was waiting for her still seated on the stool. Kate soaked the towel and then she knelt down in front of him.

"Ok first I'm going to clean all the blood" She said grabbing his chin with one hand and with the other hand cleaning the blood. She started to clean a trace of blood that began on his forehead and ended on his jaw passing by his left eye. When she was cleaning the blood of his eye their gaze met just for a couple of seconds but it seemed as if their souls entwined and flew together to another place. They broke the gaze at the same time and Kate continued cleaning the blood. When she finished she disinfected the wound with the disinfectant putting the gauze under the wound so the disinfectant didn't fall into his eyes. Their eyes met again and she broke the glance looking down but it was more embarrassing because she realized that he was only wearing a towel.

"I... um... I have finished" She said getting up looking around nervously.

"Yeah I'll... I'll better get dressed" His cheeks were completely red. He got up so abruptly that their foreheads collided. "I'm sorry Kate... I, you know I wanted to equal both parts of my forehead" He tried to joke to make the moment easier.

Kate laughed timidly still embarrassed and added "I leave to the um... living room? Well whatever it is and let you get dressed" She unconsciously looked at him back and forth before leaving the room.

'What have just happened?' He thought 'Do I feel something for her? No it's not that. She's a woman and I'm a man and we were in a compromising situation that's all, it's normal' He tried to convince himself as always. Then he remembered that they were mad at each other, and he was ready to take the first step.

Kate was at the main room trying to focus on something else to not think about what had happened. 'Kate what the hell are you doing? You cannot fall in love, you two are so different. You will ruin his world as always does' She thought but what she didn't know was that it was too late because she was already in love. Then she noticed Jack entering in the room. They stood in silent again for a couple of seconds. Jack was looking for the right words to apologize.

"I'm sorry..." She was quicker then him."I shouldn't have read you letter, it... I know it is personal and... I shouldn't. I'm- I'm sorry, really"

"No Kate I... I reacted exaggeratedly I said things I didn't mean to and I'm sorry" And then he added. "Oh and you were wrong about something. When I think about you I don't think about your criminal life. Thinking that way you're far away from what I think about you"

"W-What?" She said.

Suddenly the front door of the hatch opened and appeared Locke and a big African man with Sawyer on the back.


	3. Chapter 3: Jealousy?

**Since We Met**

**Chapter 3: Jealousy?**

"Jack!" Locke shouted approaching to Jack.

"What happened?" Jack looked concerned.

"I was hunting as I said before and I found a crowd of people. At first I was scared because I thought they were _the others_ but then I saw Michael, Sawyer and Jin and they explained all to me. They said that _the others_ shot him the night the raft left." Locke said so fast that he wasn't sure if Jack had understand all he said. "Oh and this is Mr. Ecko, he's from the tale of the plane". While another person was entering the room.

"Hey. Ok, first we have to put him in the shower to lower the fever" Jack said touching his forehead and they made their way to the shower. He didn't notice the person that had entered the hatch.

"Kate please make sure the bed is clean, and bring me the bottle of ofloxacin, alcohol and some gauzes,... oh and a glass of water" Jack said quickly turning the shower on.

"How it looks like?" She asked him "I mean the eumm...of-ofloxacin"

"The little white pills" He said examining Sawyer's wound.

"Ok" Then she left. She collided with a strange woman but she continued her way.

"Can I help with anything?" Asked a strange voice.

Jack turned to see who it was and by his surprise it was a familiar face. "Hey what are... you're alive"

"Yeah" She smiled. "So, can I help you?"

"No thanks, I already ordered someone to bring me some things" He smiled back and then he concentrated again on Sawyer.

"Jack! The bed is ready" Jack heard Kate's voice from the other room.

"Ok, I'm coming!" He shouted too. "Can you help me?" He turned to ask Ana Lucia motioning to Sawyer.

"Yes, sure" They both grabbed Sawyer and made their way to the bed.

"Easy, easy" He told the girls placing Sawyer in the bed.

"Ok. Kate give me the gauzes and the alcohol" He said getting closer to Sawyer.

"Here" Kate gave him what he asked for.

"Thanks" Jack started to disinfect the wound. Sawyer jumped for the pain telling things nobody could understand but probably something like _Son of a bitch. _Kate and Ana were looking at Jack silently when one of them broke the silence.

"Hey I'm Ana Lucia" Ana said raising her hand to shake hands with Kate.

"Kate" She said shaking hands with Ana. Kate was looking at her with an odd and thoughtful expression. _I could swear I've seen this girl before _she thought_, yeah well maybe on the plain._

In that moment someone joined them.

"Hello" Ecko said. "Ana, Locke is going to show me where the beach is, are you coming?"

"Oh yeah" She said. Then she turned to face Jack. "I guess we still can have that drink huh? I'll see you Jack" Ana and Ecko left with Locke.

Kate was looking at Jack with a little smile on her face since Ana's last words and Jack noticed it.

"What?" Jack said stopping what he was doing and looking at her.

"Nothing, it's just that... she was obviously flirting with you"

"So what, are you jealous?" He said jokingly.

"No I...um...I'm not.Do you know her?" She asked changing the topic. _Jealous? She? She had no reason to be jealous, right? Yeah that's it_.

"Yeah, well actually I just know her name. We met in the airport and we decided to have a drink together on the plane but we didn't have the chance" Jack continued cleaning Sawyer's wound. "Well, I've finished with this. Can you give me the glass of water and the floxin?"

"Yes, of course"

Jack was trying to give Sawyer the pills but he wasn't helping so much with that.

"Let me try it" Kate said and Jack gave her the pill. Kate placed herself behind Sawyer and put a hand on his forehead, she whispered him something on the ear and then she gave him the pill.

Jack got up looking at the floor with a sad expression on his face.

"I'm... I'm going to find Sun and ask her if she has something for the pain... for-for Sawyer" Kate looked at him and saw his expression, he looked sad but why? Was he jealous? Nah he didn't have reasons either because they weren't together. But for some reason she felt bad about that.

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Jack was on his way to the beach where he thought Sun would be. What was happening lately between Kate and him? Was it happening since they met but he was noticing it now? He just needed something, a signal, something to know what was happening. He finally arrived to the beach and saw Sun seated in the sand next to Jin talking with him.

"Hey Sun. Jin nice to see you again" He said while Sun and Jin stood up and Jack shook hand strongly with Jin. "Sorry if I'm interrupting something, I just wanna talk with you for a minute" He said looking at Sun.

"Yes, sure. What do you want" She asked with a big smile that she couldn't hide because Jin was finally with her, alive.

"Do you have something for the pain? You know a plant or something, it's for Sawyer." Jack asked.

"Oh yes Jin told me about him. Emm yes I think I can do something about that. Don't worry. I'm going to catch some thing and then I'll go to the hatch" She said then she turned and said something in Korean to her husband, she kissed him and then turned to leave.

"Um.. Sun wait!" Jack said, and Sun stopped and turned to face Jack again.

"Yes?" Ok, probably it was wrong what he was going about to do but he needed that signal.

"I... heard you buried the bottle with the messages. Where is it now?" He asked intrigued.

"Why?" She asked with an arched eyebrow.

"Um... you know I want to catch my letter, it is personal and I don't want anybody to read it. I know it is buried but just to be peaceful about it" He said looking around, he didn't want to look into her eyes because he wasn't sure if he was good at lying.

"Ok, follow me. I'll show you where I buried it"

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Kate was seated in a chair next to the bed where Sawyer was lying. Sawyer was asleep so she couldn't do anything but think. She was thinking about what happened before on the shower, Jack trying to get up, Jack's wound, Jack's body... ehem... she noticed it and she blushed and then she changed her thought. So she thought about Jack's face when she was whispering in Sawyer's ear. She was just afraid of losing another person in her life, she already lost too much people she loved, friends, family, and she wasn't able to confront that again. Then she heard the door of the hatch opening and footsteps approaching to her.

"Hey Kate" It was Locke with Michael.

"Hey. Hey Michael, glad to see you again" Michael nodded smiling.

"Um Kate, I'm going to show Michael the hatch so if you wanna go to the beach or something, I can take care of Sawyer" He said motioning to the door.

"Yeah I could take a rest, thanks" She said getting up and making her way to the door.

"You're welcome"

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Sun count five steps from a tree and motioned Jack to approaching her.

"Here it is, you just have to dig here." She said indicating a place on the sand.

"Ok, thanks Sun" He said waiting for her to leave.

"You're welcome." She smiled. "Well I'm going to catch those plants and bring them to Sawyer. Bye" She turned to leave.

"Bye" Jack said. He waited until Sun was out of his vision. He kneel down on the sand and started digging. He knew it wasn't the right way to get answers, he even didn't know what he was expecting to find on her letter but he had to do it.

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Kate was almost on the beach but she stopped to drink some water. She sat down on a log, opened her bag and caught the bottle of water. She was opening it when something appeared in front of her.

"What the hell..." It was a black horse. Her expression changed to a panic one and a lot of memories came to her mind.

"_What would you like to be in your next life, Jimmy?" The nine years old Kate asked._

"_That's easy. A black horse. And I told you not to call me Jimmy, I'm older now" Jim said playing with a toy horse._

"_Yeah wow 13 years old. Anyway, you and your stupid horses. You're just like Tom with his planes" She said making fun with him._

"_And you're always on that tree alone" He said and Kate looked down. "You know, the black horses are the bad guys everywhere including the Bible, but I think they're good, you know, brave and strong" _

"_Whatever" She said rolling her eyes._

"_So, what would you like to be in your next life, Katie?" Jim asked._

"_An eagle" She said proudly._

"_An eagle? Why?" He asked with an arched eyebrow._

"_You know to fly away when somebody make me do something I don't like" She said with tears in her eyes. "But I can't tell anything" She said nervously._

"_Hey, Katie look at me. Who make you do thing you don't like? You have to tell me" Jim said grabbing her sister's arm._

"_Wayne does"_

Kate felt tears rolling down her cheek. Her past came to her again and with that a lot of emotions. She had spent her whole life trying to forget it, trying to erase it from her mind, but she couldn't there were a lot of thing to forget, actually her entire life and it was too much. The horse left, and she stood there some minutes to calm herself. When she was _better_, she wiped her tears and made her way to the beach. She heard noises and approached a part of the beach where nobody used to be. By her surprise it was Jack, and he was... digging? Then she recognized the place and knew _why_ he was digging. Jack finally found the bottle and started to read letters.

"You know, you're not going to find it" She said with a flirting smile approaching to him. Jack jumped and turned to face her.

"God, Kate you scared me" he said trying to hide the bottle. "What I'm not going to find?"

"You know what, Jack." She said with a _come on, I'm not stupid you know_ look. "And it's ok you know, you're in your right to read my letter because I read yours but there's no letter of mine"

"Oh. So you didn't write a letter" He said looking down at the bottle.

"Yeah you got it. Actually if you find an empty letter that's mine" Jack was already burying the bottle again.

"Yeah I found an empty letter before... but why didn't you write a letter?" He said looking into her eyes.

"I... um. I guess for the opposite reason you wrote one" She said avoiding his gaze. "I have to go" She said and then she turned and left.

Jack just stood there in silence.


	4. Chapter 4: Almost a Kiss

Thanks everybody for reviuwing my story and to Chris for helping me with my grammatical mistakes. I'm sorry it took me a long time to update, but here it is. Please R&R.

**Since We Met**

**Chapter 4: Almost a Kiss**

Jack stood there, with his gaze on the direction were Kate had left. What was going on with her? He thought. No, it wasn't the right question. What was going on with them both? Kate wasn't the kind of girl who would kill somebody, she was kind, and everytime he saw her she was helping out or worrying about everybody … about him. Why was she arrested? Why would she kill the man that she loved? Those were some of the questions that Jack always had on his mind. Why didn't she write a letter? This one was the most recent.

Kate was on her way to the hatch. She remembered something about her past, something she forgot since the crash, since she met new people, since they met. Yeah, that was the reason why she didn't write a letter, because she had nobody to write to. Who would she write to, her father? He wasn't even her father. Well, for her he was, but she hadn't talked to him since that day. That day.

_She was alone, in the dark, in the rain, with the police looking for her and not enough money to even reserve a damn hotel room. She just had an old car, a car she bought shelling her lovely motorbike. But she couldn't cry, no. Even knowing that her entire life since that day would be this way, she couldn't cry. She couldn't because she had to be what people thought she was, strong. She couldn't because if she cried, she wouldn't stop. But she felt lonely, and she felt that she couldn't continue running without help. So even though she tried not to do it, even though she didn't want to do it. She did it. She stopped the car near a telephone booth and began to dial a number._

"_Hello?" A sleeping male voice said. He couldn't hear anything but a breath, so he tried again. "Hello?" Then he heard the person by the other side of the phone make a noise that sounded like they were trying to say something. "Katie? It's you?" He whispered._

"_Yeah dad, it's me" She said with a shaking voice. A voice that was holding tears inside, because she couldn't cry._

"_Where are you Katherine? Are you ok?" _Katherine? God he must be really angry_, she thought. Because he never called her Katherine, only when she did something that was wrong._

"_Yeah dad I'm- I'm fine. I was just wandering if... if we could met somewhere, its like I need to talk with someone I know. I promise I won't take you too much time". There were silent for a moment._

"_Ok, Katie. Do you remember the park where I used to take you when you were younger?"_

"_Yeah" she said. How could she forget it? It was the only day of the week that she was a little happy. The only day she could leave her problems at home._

"_Then I'll meet you there in ten minutes" He hanged up._

_She stopped the car far from the park in a place where she could see the park, but at the same time not be seen . There, near the swings was a figure, her father. But he looked nervous,then she saw it. Near the park was a parked car with two men inside with their gaze on his father, and another man was seated on a bench in the park reading a newspaper and from time to time he looked up in the direction of her father. She couldn't believe it, her father betrayed her. Because who reads a newspaper at 3 in the morning? Well, a normal person doesn't. Inside of her she knew it was going to happen but she didn't want to believe it. Then it happened, what she was trying to avoid all night happened. She felt a sting in the back of her eyes that quickly invaded her. She cried._

Her past was overwhelming her again. She remembered the reason why she couldn't tell Jack about what she did, about her past. She couldn't because he would do the same that her mother did, the same that her father did. He would hate her, and she didn't want it, she didn't want to have nobody again.

She was near the hatch now. She looked for a good tree, climbed it and sat in a branch. Now she felt better, that was what she used to do when she was young, when she had to get out of the house. It was the best time to do it, she thought. She had been reserving it for the right moment, and it was the moment. She needed it. She opened her backpack and took it. God, now she was a lot better.

Jack decided to leave his thoughts and go to check Sawyer. He was near when he heard something. He looked around but he didn't see anything, then he heard something again and he looked up. There on a tree was Kate with a face of pleasure eating a chocolate bar.

"Hey, where did you get that!" He said. Kate jumped and almost fell to the ground.

"In the hatch, I saved some for... well for when I felt the need for chocolate. But I have the right you know I was the first one to enter there" She answered.

"You know, I won't tell anybody if you give me one" He said with his hands resting on his hip looking up to Kate.

"Are you serious?" He nodded. "I didn't know that child part on you" She said smiling a bit.

"I have a lot of parts that you don't know" It sounded different in his head, but it was already said.

"Ok, I'll give you one. But you have to come up here" She said motioning to a seat near her. Jack smiled looking down for a moment thinking about that.

"You don't think I'm capable of doing it?" He said with a sexy smile looking at her.

"I don't know. Do you?" Then he approached the tree and started climbing it. He took a seat next to Kate.

"You've won it" She said giving him the chocolate bar. He opened it and started eating it.

"Hmmm" He said bitting it. Kate was looking at him and smiled. "What?" He said.

"What?" She replied.

"Why are you looking at me that way?" He said looking at her.

"I just wanted to see your face" She smiled again. "And believe me. It was priceless" Jack looked at her again and they both laughed.

"I can't believe what I'm saying but, now I understand you. This is a good place to stay... peaceful" He said closing his eyes and resting his head on the trunk.

"Yeah, and this is a place to not talk about _anything_" She said emphasizing the word anything.

"Ok, I got it" He said smiling. He relaxed too much that he almost loose his balance, but Kate grabbed him by his waist.

"Hey, be carefull" she said. Their gaze met for a moment.

"Thank God! I almost lost my chocolate bar" He said breaking their gaze. Kate started to laugh loudly. Then he took a bit of her chocolate bar.

"Hey!" She said. Jack suddenly covered Kate's mouth with his hand and said "Shhh"

Somebody was exiting the hatch, it was Michael. They stood there without moving a muscle untill Michael was far away.

"What was that for?" She said.

"What? I was protecting your life. You know people are capable to kill for food" She gave him and odd look.

"You're acting really strange today you know" She said " Maybe it's the height" Jack smiled.

They sat there for a while, forgetting about all their problems, just relaxing. Yeah maybe it was the height or maybe it was that he was acting like a lover. But he didn't know.

The next day Jack was picking fruit in the jungle when he saw something between the grass. He approached to see what it was. When he saw it, he stood in shock. It was a body, but not just a body, it was a known body for him. Even thought it was rotting, he recognised it. It was his father. He took some steps back with tears in his eyes and started to run. He was running to nowhere, he was just running from the body. Then he decided to go to his favourite spot on the beach, the place where he used to think about things. Finally he arrived there and he kneeled down with his hands on his head. His breath was heavy. He wasn't the kind of guy that used to cry, but this time he broke down. He calmed a little and tried to think about something else. So he thought about that place. He looked at his back and lifted his shirt a little, it was still there.

"Hey" He heard from behind him.

"Hey" He said not looking at who was behind him.

"Is that what I think it is?" She said as she kneeled down next to him and lifted his shirt a little to look at it. "I didn't make a bad job after all" She said smiling and touching his scar. He shivered at her touch, and he turned to look at her.

"Hey, what's wrong?" She asked. He turned his head to avoid her gaze but she grabbed his chin. "Jack..."

"I just want to be alone Kate" He said looking at her with a hard expression.

"Ok" She said as she got up. She looked a little hurt.

She was two steps away when he got up.

"Kate" he said taking her hand. She turned to face him. Then he approached her. He was so close that she could feel his breath on her face. They both started to approach their heads closing their eyes until their lips met and they started to feel goosebumps all along their bodies. When they were about to start moving their lips they heard a noise and turned their faces abruptly. When she saw it she took a few steps back and started to run like she always did. It was the black horse again.


	5. Chapter 5: Back To The Past Part 1

**Since We Met**

**Chapter 5: Back To The Past. Part 1.**

Was she mad? Why had she been seing that damn horse lately? Maybe it was because she was going crazy or maybe it was the island's way of trying to punish her. But Jack had also turned, did he see the horse? Anyway, she was running again and it was always for the same reason. Fear. Yeah the strong girl was scared. She was scared about her past, that seemed to mortify her every time she turned around. Kate was afraid that Jack knew something about her crimes. But most of all she was scared about way that Jack made her feel, about the sensation that overwhelmed her body when their lips barely touched.

Kate looked around her. She hardly knew where she was, but actually that was what she wanted. She wanted to be away from everyone, specially Jack. Because if she saw him, she couldn't resist to not kiss him. And she couldn't. She couldn't let him in, because if she did it, he would know what she was capable of and he would run away from her.

Kate looked around her, her hand was gripping the coarse bark of the tree she was climbing, and then she realized that she had been climbing more trees than usual since seeing the horse.

_She was again on the top of the tree, the tree where she felt safe. But this time she wasn't there to hide herself from Wayne, this time she was hiding herself from everybody because she didn't want to hear the same thing over and over again. She didn't want to, because they didn't know what really happened. Kate started to break out into tears like she never had before, she was on the top of the tree. That tree that usually helped her to feel safe, but this time it didn't help at all._

_"Katie!" She heard the only voice she was always glad to hear. The only voice that understood her, that knew what really happened._

_"Katie. Come on, you have to come". He said while he was climbing the tree._

_"No. I'm not going, Tom. I can't see Wayne acting like he cared about him" she said crying even louder._

"_Hey, Katie come on. If you don't go, you will regret it". Tom said hugging her friend with tears in his eyes as well."Forget about that bastard. I'll tell my parents and they'll..."._

"_No!" She said glancing at him. "No, no you can't. Tom, please promise me you won't tell anybody... anything"._

"_But wh..." She didn't let him finish. _

"_Please" Kate repeated almost whispering.The water in her eyes was now glittering, as she looked deeply into her friend's eyes._

_Tom looked at his friend with concern. He never had seen her before like this. Her eyes were completely red, and filled with pain and sorrow but at the same time full of hate, and he knew about who. God, she was just a little girl and she already had been through a lot. Kate should be playing happilly with her dolls, she should be unaware of the problems of the world. But instead of that she was that scared girl that knew more about life that she should. Tom didn't know the whole story, he just knew what happened that night but not why it actually happened._

"_Ok, don't worry. I won't tell" He felt the weight of the world on his shoulders when he said those words. He knew he should tell somebody about it, but he also knew that if she wasn't going to tell anybody it was because she had reasons, real reasons. "But please, come"_

"_No, Tom please don't force..."_

"_Shh, shh it's ok" He said when he realized that it really was the last thing she wanted to do in that moment. "But, what if... Ok, I have an idea. What if we go there later... when it is finished and we do it our way?" She smiled. It wasn't a happy smile, but a smile full of gratitude. A smile for Tom, because he always knew how to make her feel better... and safe._

Jack stood in a trance reflecting on what had just happened with Kate. He didn't move a muscle because if he did then he would lose his balance. He was looking in the direction where Kate dissapeared. He still could feel her lips on his as a million questions raced through his mind. Did he really see a horse? Did he really kiss Kate or it was all a dream? He turned around and stepped back in surprise. It was still there and now it was really close to him. The horse began to move his head up and down while neighing, as a sign of acceptance. Jack lifted his hand slowly untill it was close to the horse's head and began caressing it. Jack could swear that the horse was looking at his eyes like trying to say something with just a gaze. Then suddenly it began to run.

He wondered what a horse was doing there, and why Kate had run away from it. Maybe from them both. Anyway, he had already done what he didn't want to do. He opened his heart to Kate, actually just a little piece of it, but enough to let her see what was inside. Or maybe he was thinking too much about it, maybe she thought they both made a mistake and that they'll forget about it and things would remain be the same. He just knew he didn't want to lose her friendship by showing her his feelings. Even though he already knew that their relationship wouldn't be the same because the temptation to taste her lips again. or even more of her was buried inside of him.

_Someone knocked on the door. He got up off the couch and went to open the door. A young man appeared in front of him._

"_Mr. Shephard? Jack Shephard?" Asked the young man with a paper in his hand. _

"_Yes?" Jack said._

"_Here. You have a citation. If you can please sign here." The young man said offering Jack the note and a pen._

"_Sure" It finally came. He had been waiting for it since the night Sarah told him that she wanted a divorce and that she was seeing another man._

"_Thanks. This is for you"_

"_Thanks" Jack gave him a small smile, grabbed the paper and then closed the door._

_In just a few days his life had changed a lot. He had a future with Sarah, maybe not a happy one but a future in any case. He knew he didn't love her, he tried but he didn't. Jack thought he had been a good husband, maybe too involved in his job but at least he didn't cheat on her and he tried to give her all the love he could, even without loving her. _But she still cheated on him_. And he had to see her one more time._

_The citation day came. They had been reunited with their lawyers in a room, less time then he thought it would be but for him _the time dragged on because he was there too_. The man that replaced him in Sarah's life was there._

"_Jack" She called. He turned to face her. "I know it is hard for you but..." Jack smiled ironically._

"_You know, huh?"_

"_It's the best for both of us, and you know that" She said, her lover was right next to her._

"_Yeah, I know. Cuz I already fixed you, right Sarah? And that's all I wanted" He took a look at the man next to her and left._

"_Jack!" Jack didn't stop walking. "Jack, please. I-I'm pregnant" He stopped abruptly._

"_We decided not to tell him..." Her boyfriend said whispering to her._

"_Well, congratulations for you both" Jack said without turning._

"_No Jack. It's yours" He took some time to turn to face her._

"_What?" Jack was _with an angry expression stretched across his face.

"_I lied when I said to you that the _pregnancy test_ was negative" She was looking at the floor avoiding his gaze._

"_Huh, and you pretended to tell it to me or it just came casually?" He said shaking his head and trying to catch her gaze._

"_I'm telling you now right?" She was now looking at him._

"_Right... right" Jack said nodding. He turned and left, this time without interruptions._

A few days passed and they hadn't even stayed in the same _room _since then. Sawyer was feeling better and he was on the beach again. Kate had been with him a lot, and she knew she was doing it just to avoid Jack as Jack was with Ana Lucía just to avoid Kate and pretend that he didn't care about her.

Jack was seated on the sand looking at the ocean peacefully. He was thinking about something he knew he had to do but he didn't want to, because he'd have to face it again and a lot of memories would come. Memories that were eating him up inside. But he had to do it so he stood up. He made his way to a spot where they kept some material. Kate was near that spot with Sawyer playing cards, she was obviously flirting with him and laughing. Jack just took a little look at her, she looked at him too and her laughter stopped, but they quickly broke the gaze. Jack caught one of the blue canvas and a long rope and then he left the beach and entered the jungle. Kate's eyes followed him with her gaze fixed on his back.

"Earth to Freckles. Please stay in the game" Sawyer said. Then he turned to look where she was looking and he saw Jack leaving. "Problems with ya boyfriend?"

She gave him a killer look.

"Ok, ok. Got it. You don't want to talk about it"

Jack was almost there. He walked in circles for a while because he didn't remember the exact location. Then he saw it. It was in the same place, in the same position, like it was waiting for him. There was his father's body. He tried to approach it a lot of times but he couldn't. He counted to five. _One... two... three... four..._ he took a big breath_... five_. He had seen a lot of dead bodies in his life but it was totally different. Jack rolled up the body inside the blue canvas and tied the rope around it. When he finished he released it and stepped back. He took a big breath as if he had been holding his breath this whole time. Actually he had been doing it because the body gave off an unbearable smell.

_Jack was at his parents' house. His mum invited him for dinner because she knew he was alone now. They were at the table._

"_I knew this was going to happen. I told you Jack you had to spend more with your wife. But you didn't hear me" Christian Shephard said to his son. He was discussing all of Jack's personal issues during dinner._

"_Yeah dad? Like you spend with yours?" He was about to say something worse but he shut up._

"_Don't talk to me that way!" Christian said punching the table while getting up, with an accusing finger pointied at his son. "I'm done" He said leaving the dining room._

_Jack shook his head smiling ironically. He got up angrily._

"_Jack, please. You know how is your father" Margo said looking at his son._

"_Yeah mum, I know. But I can't stand him anymore" He grabbed his coat and turned to leave for the door._

"_I know I haven't been a good mother..." She said with tears in her eyes. Jack stopped and turned. "And it's hard for me to say it but I also know that you haven't been happy..."_

"_No mum I..." He said approaching her._

"_Jack... please let me finish or it will be harder for me" He nodded."And you wonder why can I stand him... it is just because... I love him, Jack" She dried her tears with a cloth that was on the table. "I want you to be happy... even if you don't think so. I-I was shopping the other day and I saw Mark Silverman, your friend. He began to talk to me about you, things I didn't know... I... I began to know my own son thanks to a stranger. You're a great guy Jack. I haven't been in your life that much, but now I want to be in it" She smiled "Better sooner than later, right?" Jack hugged his mother._

"_So... Mark huh?" He said still hugging his mother._

"_Yeah" She said laughing._

_Jack and Margo parted and then he walked to the door. He turned for a moment._

"_Thanks mum, I needed something like that" _

"_Jack, just one more thing" He looked at his mother again._

"_I know you weren't in love with Sarah. And I know you'll find it someday, you'll find love Jack. You'll find a girl that will make you smile again or... maybe for the first time" Jack nodded and left._

Kate finished playing cards with Sawyer and decided to go to the garden to see how it was going. She found Sun there.

"Hey" She said.

"Oh, hi Kate" Sun said, she was kneeled planting something new. Kate kneeled too with her gaze lost somewhere and her mind lost in her thoughts.

"Have you and Jack argued?" Sun asked looking at her.

"What?" She said turning her face to look at Sun. "No. We...um... we haven't argued. Why?"

"Well I have seen you both avoiding each other" Sun said. Kate looked down. "Sorry. This is none of my business".

"No it- it's ok" Kate gave her a small smile.

"I have to go. Jin is waiting for me. Bye" Sun said getting up.

"Ok, bye"

Kate was alone now. She worked a little on the garden. She saw a beautiful blue flower and approached to it smell it.

_As Tom promised, they went there when it finished. She didn't know what to say or how to act. She just had a bunch of blue flowers, his favourite color, and a box. A box full of memories._

_Tom looked at Kate, she was petrified, her eyes still red and full of pain. He knew she coudln't make the first step so he did it._

"_I'll never forget the day we met Jim. And I'll never forget the time we spent together, because you are... you were my best friend, and..." He couldn't resist it anymore, he started to cry again. He tried to be strong for Kate but he couldn't resist it " I hope you're happy where you are now" He turned to look at Kate, it was her turn. He wasn't sure if she could say anything._

" _I know he is happier now..." She said looking at Tom. She kneeled in front of her brother's headstone. "But w-w-why did you leave me Jimmy? I'll can't leave without you in that house. I-I know it was my fault" She was crying harder now. Tom didn't say anything, he knew she had to say everything she had inside. "It was my... my fault, because if I hadn't told you anything then you would still be alive" She could barely breath. She dried her tears and left the flowers there and the box too. "I left you this box here so you wouldn't forget me. A-and it has also some of your favourite toys. You know including that black horse" She smiled a little and got up. "I know you'll be a black horse in the afterlife,_ _if you're not one already"_

_

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_**Thanks to all my reviewers of last chapter: Orlando-crazy, ObsessedwithLOST, Lostbeth, Chris Anthony (also thanks for being my beta), ameriker. Please R&R.**


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